For those of you that are not familiar with Final Fantasy let’s quote wikipedia.
“media franchise created by Hironobu Sakaguchi, and is developed and owned by Square Enix (formerly Square). The franchise centers on a series of fantasy and science fantasy role-playing video games(RPGs), but includes motion pictures, anime, printed media, and other merchandise.”
"Summoning magic, which evokes legendary creatures to aid in battle and is a feature that has persisted since Final Fantasy III. Summoned creatures are often referred to by names like "Espers" or "Eidolons" and have been inspired by mythologies from Arabic, Hindu, Norse, and Greek cultures.”
List of Summons:
Godfather - comes out and says “sleeping with the fishes” then blasts with a tommy gun
Mr. Freeze - comes out and freezes you solid
Werewolf - comes out blasting with silver bullet magnums
Silver Surfer – flies in on his surfboard and decapitates you with it
Anakin Skywalker (Darth Vader) – light saber decapitations
Edward Scissorhands – wolverine style slashes
Spiderman and Mary Jane – webs you into a ball while Mary Jane gets you high
Osama Bin Laden (osonic) – talks in Arabic for 3 hours (as seen on CNN) as a distraction
Mahatma Gandhi – sits and meditates, makes you calm
Barry Bonds - Hits a home run with your head
Real Life Scenario:
Location: Los Angeles, California
We were just chillin’ at the house, Gunja and Gandhi were there, we had a bowl of Indian berries, any given Shatterday.
“Yo Gunja, this fly party is supposed to be poppin’ at this guy named 50 mil’s house tonight. You wanna roll?”
He replied, “hell yea I wanna go to OG 50 mil’s house! He throws crazy off the hook parties! Ahh hells yea sucka, let's roll!”
“Sweet I’m rolling in my foamposites.”
We hop in the whip and show up to 50 mil’s house where there was a huge line and a extremely large door man. We never wait, so we summoned Spiderman to web up the door man and Mary Jane to smoke out the crowd in the line.
When we get in, the song “Sippin On Some Sizzurp” is playing by Three Six Mafia.
“I’m trill working the wheel, a pimp, not a simp
keep the dope fiends higher than the goodyear Blimp.”
We saw 50 near the bar pouring some champagne.
I yelled, “yo 50 what up?”
He remarked, “nothing homies, ah what up, yea yea” with a wierd sound to his voice as he was sucking on some lemonheads.
Just then three top notch tricks caught our attention. Pictures flashes were going off as these three walked over to us. They were sporting hefty duckfaces.
They introduced themselves
The Ho “you couldn’t stay in me longer than 10 minutes”
Headlights “I give good deep throat”
Caboose “we can collide for hours”
Fitty says, “what up ladies you can find me at the bar, rolled up in my Andretti car, baby I know who you are, I’m into one night stands but you won't see me going far.”
Gunja summons Osama Bin Laden to distract him, and I swoop up the ladies to the right. Gunja then meets us. At that moment we see the door man coming towards us. I summon Silver Surfer, heads go flying.
Gunja states, “hey ladies, what do you say we all go upstairs?”
They say, “Ok.”
The ladies obliged and then our family jewels obliged.
They then proceeded to tell us that was a 10 grand experience. So we summoned Gandhi to calm those tricks down till they passed out.
As Headlights was passing out she said,
“ahh naw you can’t do this to us we have AIDS and now you have AIDS so, WE WIN!”
Instantly she dropped to the floor.
Gunja walked over to her, slowly leaned over her and said,
“We can’t get AIDS, Bitch.”
And we slip out the side door.
Just then we saw Fitty as we were coming down the stairs, he ran up put his arm around my shoulder and whispered,
“Lemme holla at you a second bra, you wouldn’t be messin with my ho’s now would you?”
At this point Gunja and I both looked at eachother then I replied,
“hell yea we messin with yo ho’s in yo house.”
He then proceeded to call an onslaught of guards who began to swing in from the ceiling with a bit of an arsenal, all dressed in Madonna background dancer attire. We let them have it with a combination summon of Werewolf, Darth Vader, and Edward Scissorhands. A firestorm broke out with bodies dropping all around us.
After that all that remained standing was Fitty, so I let him have it with the Godfather summon and said, “it’s my birthday bitch.” Gunja summoned Barry Bonds and Fifty’s head went flying.
Just then the cops were rolling up, police sirens blaring. Gunja let them have it with our Mr. Freeze summons. As they all froze, we used the dry ice on the ground to bust a few donuts in the Audi S4 and then we rolled out.